One morning, on a challenging North Pole trip, Rabbi Schrödcat met Mr. Zweistein, a local Eskimo.
Zweistein, who'd never met a western soul in his entire life, invited the Rabbi to his stunning igloo. There, the two discussed the deeper grounds of life, including God's mighty power and the sinfulness of man.
After a short silence, Zweistein asked the Rabbi : ‘If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?’ Rabbi Schrödcat had to think for a moment. Then he answered deliberately : ‘No, not if you did not know.’ ‘Then why,’ asked the Eskimo earnestly, ‘did you tell me?’
Showing his friend around his his home, Rabbi Asriel pointed out all of the precious collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.
Then Rabbi Asriel stated deliberately: "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."
"Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!"
"And that's where you're wrong," the Rabbi smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"
Rabbi Baslami crossed the dessert as he found three brothers weeping profusely at a oasis.
Baslami discovered their father had recently passed away and they were unable to fulfill his last wish.
The father had given strict instructions that the inheritance of his estate be divided in such a way that the oldest received one half, the second received one third, and the youngest received one ninth of the father’s estate.
The brothers had successfully divided the rest of their father’s property, but were unable to do so with the camels. The father had left them 17 camels, and, try as they may, the brothers could not distribute the camels according their father’s wishes.
Baslami considered the dilemma and then offered the brothers a solution. He insisted they receive his camel as a gift. After much conversation and many attempts at refusal, the brothers relented to the travelers’ demands and received the kindness of his gift.
With 18 camels, the brothers were able to properly divide the inheritance and satisfy their father’s wishes. The older brother received one half of the herd and took his 9 camels. The second brother received one third of the herd and took his 6 camels. The youngest brother received one ninth of the herd and took his 2 camels.
Surprisingly, 9 camels plus 6 camels plus 2 camels equals 17 camels. With the inheritance properly distributed, Baslami got his own camel back and continue on his journey.
What comfort or resolution can your wisdom and generosity bring to those God brings into your path? Are you riding on the 18th camel? Or dare you to invest your camel or (even) your live?
After the first one told his side, the Rabbi told him: “You’re right.”
“Wait a minute, Rabbi,” said the other, “You haven’t heard my side.” After telling his side, the Rabbi scratched his beard and told him: “You’re right.”
The Rabbi’s aide tugged on the Rabbi’s sleeve: “Rabbi, Rabbi, they can’t both be right.”
The Rabbi responded, “You know something? You’re right, too!”
An old man goes to the synagogue and prays, every day, thusly: “God, let me win the lottery. Please, just one big win. I’ll give money to the poor, and live a righteous life. . . . Please, let me win the lottery!”
For years, he comes to the synagogue, and the same prayer goes up: “Let me win the lottery! Please, Lord, won’t you show your grace, and let me win the lottery!”
Finally, one day, after fifteen years of this, as the man mutters, “The lottery, Lord, let me win the lottery. . . ,” a golden light suffuses the sanctuary, and a chorus of angels singing a major C chord is heard. The man looks up, tears in his blinded eyes, and says, “Lord . . . ?”
And a deep resonant voice rings out, “Please . . . would you please BUY A TICKET already?”
A kindly old man died peacefully and found himself resurrected in the middle of a country road. And behold! Running toward him was his favorite dog! He knelt and embraced his long lost pet in tearful reunion. After some time, the dog seemed anxious to walk the road in what seemed to be the direction of the rising sun. The man followed.
Before long, they came to a fence of wrought gold, with pearly gates, behind which there stood mansion upon mansion. The gatekeeper, a tall man in flowing white robes, greeted the man, and welcomed him to enter.
"But what exactly is this place?" said the man, who had been a lifelong agnostic.
"This," said the gatekeeper, is Heaven. But there are no dogs allowed. So you'll have to leave your dog outside. We have a strict no-pets policy."
The man stood in confusion for some moments. His face became grim. "No thanks," he said. "I'll take my chances with my dog."
For a long time, the man and his dog wandered down the road. At last they came to an unpretentious farming community with no fences or gates of any kind. What appeared to be a contented old farmer was sitting on a stool next to an old-fashioned hand operated water pump. The dog ran up to the farmer, who petted him, and gave him some water.
"Where is this place?" asked the man.
"This is Heaven," answered the farmer. "It's all around you. You've been in it, or at least the outskirts of it ever since you died."
"But that fellow back yonder behind the pearly gates said that place was Heaven." replied the man.
"Nah, that's Hell," replied the farmer. "We leave the entrance there to weed out the hypocrites who'd leave their best friend behind."
The man at the counter of a bakery noticed a small boy standing by the front of the bread display. He has been standing there for a few minutes.
Curious, the man asked the boy, "What are you doing there?"
"Nothing, I'm just enjoying the smell of the newly-baked cinnamon bread," the boy replied.
"You can't do that. Get lost!" the man said in a loud voice.
"Buy why? I'm not bothering anybody," the boy protested.
"You're bothering me. Besides the aroma of the cinnamon bread is not free - you have to pay for it," the man said angrily.
"How much is a cinnamon bread?" the boy inquired.
"One dollar each."
The boy took out a five dollar bill from his pocket and held it up close to the man's face.
"How many do you want to buy?" the man asked
"I don't want to buy any. I just want to pay for the aroma of the cinnamon bread with the smell of my dollar bill," the boy replied.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are playing poker when the police raid the game.
Turning to the priest, the senior officer asks: "Father Shaunessy, were you gambling?"
The priest turns his eyes to heaven, murmuring "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then says, "No officer, it was just a social game."
The officer then asks the minister: "Pastor Fredrick, were you gambling?"
Again, after a message to heaven, the minister replies, "No, officer, I was not gambling."
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asks: "Rabbi Goldschmitt, were you gambling?"
Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replies: "So with whom would I be gambling?"
I shall not continue with my studies of sacred texts he said. I live in a small house with my brothers and parents, and never have the ideal conditions for concentrating on that which is important.
Nachman pointed to the sun and asked his disciple to place his hand over his face, in order to hide it. The disciple obeyed.
Your hand is small, yet it can completely cover the power, light and majesty of the great sun. In the same way, the small problems manage to give you the excuse you need in order to hinder your progress along your spiritual journey.
Just as your hand has the power to hide the sun, mediocrity has the power to hide your inner light. Do not blame others for your own incompetence.
About two hundred years ago, the famous Chassidic Rabbi, Zushia of Anapoly lived a pious, simple and God fearing life.
In a rabbinical college, near to rabbi Zushia, two students were studying the Talmud. They got puzzled about a statement (Berakhot 54a, 60b Mishnah (9:5)) that said:
"A person must bless God for the bad just as one must bless God for the good"
Thanking God for the good, that's understandable and reasonable, but thanking God for the bad? That didn't make any sense.
So they went to the dean of the college for an answer. Th dean stroked his long beard and pondered the question. "This..... is a question that only Rabbi Zushia can answer. Go to his house and ask him!"
The students decided to go immediately. Rabbi Zushia lived outside of the town. They walked beyond the town's limits and entered into the wooded forest. Following a narrow path, they soon arrived at a run-down shack that was Rabbi Zushia's abode. The windows were broken, the roof looked in need of repair and the walls were badly cracked. As Rabbi Zushia greeted them and led them in, they saw the abject poverty in which Rabbi Zushia lived. The chairs were wobbly and few. The other furnishings were shoddy and in poor repair.
Rabbi Zushia apologized for not having any thing to offer them to eat but perhaps a glass of hot water would be sufficient.
The students explained that they had come to ask him this question. "Why does it say in the Talmud that we must thank God for the good as well as the bad?"
Rabbi Zushia asked them, "Why come to me to ask me that question? I also can not understand it. Nothing bad has ever happened to me. Is it possible that God does anything bad?"
A Zen parable tells the story of two monks who are walking in silence together when they come upon a large, muddy river. There they see an attractive young woman struggling to climb up a muddy riverbank. One of the monks picks her up, lifts her, and carries her , putting her down safely.
The monks continue on their way in silence, until they reach the monastery. At nightfall, the other monk finally blurts out, “How could you have done that? We aren’t allowed to look at, let alone touch a woman! What have you done?”
“Friend” the other monk said quietly. “I let go of her at the riverbank. But you- you are still carrying her.”
Story about an old rabbi and one of his congregants, who was a soap manufacturer.
One day the two of them were out for a walk and the soap maker asked, “What good is religion? Look at all the trouble and misery of the world: still there, even after years – thousands of years -- of teaching about goodness and truth and peace; still there, after all the prayers and sermons and teachings. If religion is good and true, how can this be?”
The rabbi said nothing as they walked along. They continued on until the rabbi noticed a child playing in the gutter by the side of the road. “Look at that child,” said the rabbi. “You say that soap makes people clean, but see the dirt on that youngster! Of what good is soap? With all the soap in the world, with all these years, the child is still filthy! I wonder how effective soap is, after all?”
“But, Rabbi,” the soap maker protested, “Soap can’t do any good unless it’s used!”
One morning, on a challenging North Pole trip, Rabbi Schrödcat met Mr. Zweistein, a local Eskimo. 
